I was wondering which is the best approach to introduce toddlers to the vocals and alphabet?
Begin with the vocals, the full alphabet or using a program like Your Baby Can Read or Hooked on Phonics For Toddlers. What worked for you when you began with your kids?
My twins are 19 months old and I am beginning with the vocals but any tips would help me and will be greatly appreciated. ~Yadi
“Great teaching inspires students to educate themselves.”
~Dr. Oliver DeMille, Creator TJEd, Founder GWU and popular homeschool author.
Photo of a student directed Shakespeare study group, each teen is choosing to participate.
Trial and error and lots of successful “real learning”, has taught me that children should go through their days incorporated into the parents everyday routine, learning about life naturally. In the child’s early years a parent’s educational focus is best devoted to character building and family work and, not academics. A parent, as the primary role model for how and why to learn, should model a love of learning as the key component to “teaching” our children society’s body of knowledge. By modeling, the parent naturally introduces what the tools are that we use to learn.
My initial, off the cuff response to your question would be, if Hooked on Phonics or Teach Your Baby to Read are something you would choose for you, to learn with, and is something you love to work with, then do it. But, if it is not natural to you, then why do it?
Obviously, we are interested in “teaching” our children the alphabet as a beginning to reading. Wanting or feeling the need to “teach” the alphabet, using popular learning resources, is natural because we have learned from our own experiences that this is what parents do with children of this age. The beauty I have seen in a Classical Liberal Arts (aka: Leadership Education) home school, is that children learn the same information naturally, because they are curious and want the tools to go through their days satisfying that curiosity. Parents love to “inspire” natural learning, more than they like creating lesson plans and using pre-fab curriculum.
Home schooling should not be something else on your to do list. Learning and living together in a natural way, turns learning into a natural extension of who we are and how we spend our days.
When it comes to learning to talk, learning symbols such as the alphabet, for example and reading, I have discovered it is best to just talk to your children, to share your interests with them and to read. Read the classics, read articles and read some more, for yourself, and to them, early and often! The most important of these learning ingredients is that they see you reading!!! Their presence while you model a love for learning by reading, researching and discussing, is the single most important thing you can do as their “teacher” to bring out your children’s innate genius! Nurturing of their genius, in this way, ignites their natural curiosity and in turn they will seek the tools (learning the sounds of the letters), that society uses for learning when they are ready.
By changing the focus of my attention to me rather than them, I found I wanted to read to them more; I wanted to share all that I was discovering. I structured my schedule so I would have the time to let them see me reading and I also read aloud a few times a day to the children in my home. I make it a priority each time they asked me to read a book to them. I filled my daughters (and the kids in my Mom School co-op) life with books. I turned off the TV and computer, added a few strategically placed, open ended learning toys, especially those that condition life skills and building. I displayed thinking toys such as puzzles (yes, a few abc puzzles too) and math & language arts games, and filled the rooms with lots and lots of books on bottom shelves. I let the shelves stay messy; it makes the books more attractive to toddlers, than a straight line of books does. This environment went a long way to “teaching” all that they needed to know about the sound of letters and words. The more I use the environment along with modeling and the less I use what I learned about teaching in “conveyor belt” schools, the more the children in my life fall in love with knowing and the brighter and more self-directed they are!
This is one of a couple book shelves around our environment, this is in the space where the toddlers spend most of their time.
A natural learning environment and my enthusiasm about being with the children in my life speaks volumes to them; more so than formal instruction as in, this is the letter A and it sounds like____, could ever do! This approach tells the children that I value and trust their abilities to learn and those books are where we get our information about the world and entertainment from. The books lying around and the older people reading them in the home, kicks in the natural next step of curiosity so that someday, when it is time, they will want to be just like mommy, able to read on their own.
Change the Environment Not the Child-Books and Thinking Puzzles
If there was one best piece of advice most of us veteran home schoolers would love to tell new parents it would be; learning to read (or learning any other subject for that matter) will happen even if you don’t require them to learn it, or try to fill them up with the information of it! And, surprise, in most cases the learning is deeper.
The only other tactic I might add when inspiring children, is pointing; when reading to your children take your finger and as you read follow the words you are saying. This naturally, enables them to connect that what mommy is saying is connected to the symbols they are seeing. Learning letters (symbols) and their sounds this way is more relevant to them, which inspires their natural curiosity and they form the questions in their own minds that are needed to learn. This is how children “own” their education. It is not parroting and unlike “teaching” when the question hasn’t been asked, engages the full brain, not just a part of it.
I learned years ago, in my early child development and alternative education classes that when a child parrots back the alphabet or reads letters or even words, before they are ready for the information, they are doing just that -parroting back, and are only engaging and developing part of their brain. Some child developments specialists are even suggesting that the capability for high level comprehension doesn’t develop until late elementary and/or up into the middle school years for some. My experience is that children let you know when they have that capacity, so I take my cues from them.
Showing children the letters and singing the alphabet song is not necessary but can be a good thing if done in a playful way, it gives them a memory to build from. So a CD with the alphabet song playing in the back ground, mommy pointing to the letter A and sounding it out while the child is looking, or daddy saying with sincere interest, “I want to share this book I am reading.” And, “Look honey these are words and letters and they tell me _______ (what it says) and it makes me feel _____(fill in the blank).” All of this can be a wonderful foundation on which to build learning. When interest in words starts to show, I will read a word, slowly sounding out each letters sound and telling the child these letters are b-a-b-y and that says baby. When a child starts to drift off, I stop, immediately. Doing this along with pointing to the words you are reading works but, it must be done only when there is relevance to the child.
After twenty years of working with children, this much I know for sure, I cannot teach or inspire anything I am not sincerely interested in and it must be relevant to the child, as well as to me. So, when I gather with children, my main purpose is to “be” with them, while reading and learning together for pleasure. Being together is the first priority, doing a lesson with them is the second. I like to call our lessons playing at school. I take my cues as to whether or not to introduce the lesson from the child. And, most important I have learned that there is no certain age when a person should know something. Keeping this formula in mind is what I like to call my, “kid magnet”. It is my secret ingredient for why I have so many kids loving to learn around me.
I learned the hard way that introducing early academics and reading before a child is naturally ready can hinder the child’s full brain development and curiosity. My step son was three when he came into my life and his parents were doing the Teach Your Baby to Read program from The Better Baby Institute in Philadelphia. At three, he was reading words and at four, books. The beauty was that his mom spent lots of time with him doing things she recognized, was comfortable with and, which gave her a purpose and gave him lots of attention. The negative was when he was four we were driving down the road and from the back seat we heard, “Live nude girls. Why are they nude?”
In my opinion, my step son was exposed to society’s body of knowledge at far too young an age because of his early reading. He didn’t have the emotional and social intelligence yet developed to assimilate adult knowledge. This early maturity in his left brain served him well in the private college preparatory schools he was educated in. He learned to play the school game and play it well, receiving good grades and his choice of college.
By the time our son was ready to go off to undergraduate school he was extremely burned out and lacked knowing what his mission in the world was. He longed for what he called a “real education” and applied to a great books liberal arts college, which scared both his parents and school counselors, since it was not what he was groomed for. But, off he went, with a comprehension problem stemming from learning to read too early and having never really enjoyed reading for fun, to this small college, where he would spend his days reading and discussing three hundred or so, of the greatest books ever written, for a degree in philosophy. Not only did his choice change his life for the better, but it changed ours too! It began his and our entire family’s de-schooling journey, we all fell in love with “real” whole brain learning. Today, our son is choosing to home school- holistically his own children.
Our grandson is just starting his learning journey!
At eighteen, when our first born was heading off to that great books liberal arts college, his sister came into our life. We had learned a lot by then, and chose to home school in harmony with the phases of learning as dictated by nature. Our daughters toddler through second grade years were full of real family work, handwork, natural learning rhythms and a love of learning environment that kept her in that magical world of childhood imagination and play. Despite going off this path for a bit in the later elementary years, out of fear, our ninth grade daughter is in love with, and self-directed, in acquiring knowledge. She thinks more deeply at fourteen than our son did, is better-rounded, and, learning comes easily to her now that she is the one asking the questions. She is in the habit of regulating the information that comes in to her life, making sure she is ready for it, and is a young woman full of good character, purpose and is simply joyful. I attribute this to getting out of her way and not “teaching” her phonics and such.
Open Ended Toy & Imagination Enhanced Play Area
Unlike our son’s experience, our daughter spent much time in her imagination as a younger child. Even today, at fourteen, she loves to read and write stories, and says she “has to write” for fun every day. Child development science has repeatedly proven, that it’s through the imagination and play that our brain assimilates society’s body of knowledge and is then developed to its full capacity. Children allowed to develop in harmony with their natural clocks and phases, who first ask for the information and, whose childhood play is more prevalent than academic learning, all the way up through middle school have a better opportunity to fully develop all seven of their intelligences!
When you think about developing multiple intelligences in a child, one could make the argument that these children are smarter because they are self-directed in their learning and able to think for themselves when compared to a child thrown into early academics. Early academics can have a tendency to lead to developing intellect in a specialized learning capacity. Specialized learning is the overdeveloping of one or the multiple intelligences, at the expense of full brain and character development.
There’s an extreme metaphor that sums up the difference between whole brain and specialized learning: A specialized “intellectual” person knows how to build a bomb, so they do. A whole brain developed-multiple “intelligent” person also knows how to build a bomb, but they don’t.
The conveyor belt education that emphasizes a one size fits all, specialized education, is not what is needed for our changing world. Curriculum such as Teach Your Baby to Read and adult led required lessons are part of a conveyor belt education. It fills our society with intellectual adults and lacks grown up people who embody intelligence. Unfortunately, this lack came from good intentions by parents and society to “teach”. We now know that in order to develop all of our brains capacity it is best to foster natural curiosities, by modeling an inspired education, promoting a love of learning and conditioning self-reliance in all areas of life. More and more home educators are coming to the realization that just because using curriculum and having someone try to fill us up with information was the way we were taught, doesn’t mean a conveyor belt education supports a harmonious home school family life and the kind of future we want for our children. Unfortunately, many home schoolers are walking in both schools of thought these days and, at times are at a loss for how to inspire the child to want to learn, instead of teaching lessons.
Whenever I feel the need to “teach” something to a young person, I tread carefully and question why, asking the children first if they are interested in knowing this information. If they are not interested and I still want to teach it, I have conditioned a big red stop sign to pop up in my mind, as a cue to look deeper into my need to teach. Nine times out of ten, it’s my own conveyor belt education popping up and, I realize I am afraid they won’t learn the information in the end. I simply don’t trust the natural process. By requiring them to learn something, based on my time line, I think I am becoming more comfortable. After all, isn’t it a part of the mommy job description in our society? Filling our child up with every possible piece of information is familiar and, is what we think we are supposed to do to prepare our children to be successful grownups. But that is all it is, familiar. I have been raising kids long enough to know it is not necessary to prepare a child on my agenda and doing so could possibly make my family life and future grown up children less comfortable in the end. So I let it go and put the focus back on me and modeling my love of learning, spending my energy creating opportunity to inspire the lesson. Sure enough, one never knows when, but the information I was looking to teach gets into the children because they asked for it. With each lesson learned I develop less conveyor belt tendencies and more faith in the natural processes of learning!
How could a question as simple as, “How should I teach my children the abc’s, verbally or with popular curriculum?” Turn into this big picture answer? Because after twenty nine years of parenting I am learning more and more to begin my answer with the end in mind.
I am reminded of a reoccurring conversation that happens in the home schooling world, about how much of a pleasure it is to “teach” our kids when they are little. After all, young children just want our attention and are like sponges, soaking up everything, whether the information is relevant or not. This same wonderful experience of teaching our littles, commonly turns into drudgery when those same children enter the later elementary years! How many a home school mom asks, “Why does little Johnny fight me when it is time to sit and teach him a lesson?” The answer is, that he has just enough balance and real whole brain learning happening in his home school to fight for what his brain development really needs, which is to allow him to form his own questions! Another thing you here from a parent is, “I already did fifth grade, I’m not interested in spending my day teaching this stuff!” So maybe we should stop looking to what is familiar about education and start our home school life by taking our cues from the children in our lives, trusting the natural learning process and teaching by answering questions when they are asked. Instead of planning teaching time why not spend that energy inspiring and modeling for our youngster’s brain- the ability to be able to learn on its own, an effort sure to avoid the sitting for lessons and the drama that comes with it the later home school years. 
Self directed lessons-researching and creating
By all means share the alphabet with your children, draw, sing and show it, if showing the symbols and how to use them as a tool is what is coming naturally to you in everyday life with your kids. Being careful about your desire to do it now, asking yourself if it is because you feel it is time to teach it, based on their ages, or this is what you are supposed to be teaching because you are trying to give them a good head start. Teaching the alphabet sounds using a curriculum will give them a head start, but maybe not on the road you want them to be on in the end.
Children live in our emotions and they may be able to parrot back academic learning, but how you feel about what you are teaching and how they feel is the real lesson they are learning. By focusing on you and your love for learning and, not them, you change the environment around so that your children learn to trust themselves and their abilities; they go from depending on you to “teach” them about the world, to depending on themselves and having a hand in all of their education endeavors. You become a mentor instead of a teacher.
The question for me has become not, “How do I teach this or that?” But, “What is it I really want for my children, when it comes to their education and how can I inspire it?”
My answer has been pretty consistent for the last couple of years, always choosing the path that enables them to own their education, whether I am comfortable with it or not.
Choosing a classic book assures many valuable lessons learned and is something all ages enjoy!
"A classic! It will apply to the businessman, teacher and mom alike."
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